Well….there was not much more to do but refine the vision and fine tune the painting. The orchid turned into a being from another realm….and entertained me in the process. 
OK….at the suggestion of a couple friends, i am going to share the process of creating a painting. Here, i have posted the beginning of the piece i am now working on, and then a later development of it, as it looks this morning…and i will post another stage of its morphing as i go. I do not yet know where this vision will go, so, for me it is exciting, as are the realms of the unknown, for me. It feels like this painting is seducing me. There is a mystery in it for me.
***Image #1, arrival of a Vision:
Here is the beginning. It started with a half finished painting of a portrait of an orchid that i had begun and abandoned, years ago. Lately i had it out….and was looking at it….to see if it had any possibilities. I thought it was quite boring…i was not inspired at all. Orbs: I have had a variety of orbs come into my reality from several sources, both in the past, and lately in a curiously inspiring way. Orbs have also appeared before in my art, here and there. Then, as i pondered the old orchid painting, I began to feel the somewhat “extra-terrestrial-being” quality that orchids sometimes appear to have…and there the vision began! And then i SAW it!! It took on a life! The first image ( above) was as i began to define the perimeters of an orb, super-imposed over the orchid….excited to see where it would take me.
***Image #2, the process as the painting morphs:
An here is how it is developing, now. I feel strongly drawn to this sensuous orb, and the living flow of colors within it…and the haunting forest background that is morphing into existence as well.
It feels delightful to be painting this!!! And i will post an update of the next stage of this vision. Off i go to paint!!
Wow! The photo of this painting, done many years ago, was just sent to me. Interesting that some of my recent posts have also been about “tears”. Much of my art reflects the images of inner realms of the human condition…both heaven and hell….and its journey of transformation.
I see this painting as another reflection of the profound and essential un-doing of the dense false self, and the resistance to that process ( ie….pain and suffering )…and the subsequent opening and freeing ( surrender ) once the resistance is released …. an indispensable part of my own process of awakening from the “dream”.
This painting shows at the top, two somewhat abstract faces, masks. As they face away from each other, they are experiencing their own personal hell inside, lost and in pain, crying. When they face each other ( mirrors )….there is conflict and sorrow…projection….perhaps they see the other as the “cause” of this suffering? ( click on painting to enlarge )
As tears from their depths fall, they transform, like alchemy …to sun and moon, to crystals, into a sea of transformed tears at the bottom, out of which grows a huge crystal, and two hands reaching out, holding more crystals. There is a vine growing up out of this rich liquid as well, and it sustains and embraces a huge crystal ball.
Within this crystal ball is a vision of peace, harmony, these faces transformed, and a connection/reflection of these two in spirit, and the eagle flies its noble freedom….and Heyoka, the sacred clown/jester/fool, of the Lakota tradition, joyfully dances the cosmic joke.
None of it is real.
Woah….This is a totally different approach to a canvas for me. What an experience! I want to be able to explain it….but it is not possible.
The title describes it….to fling out the dense visceral stuff still taking up precious inner space in my would be Pureness. I flung it with paint…passionately….i loved the experience…i had no attachment to what this painting might look like…it was completely spontaneous…almost like a dance…a nuanced allowing.
Then….to my surprise, i went to the blog of my dear friend, and an amazingly inspired, world class ekphrastic poet….and lo!! she had posted this painting, and written one of her stunning poems!
What the painting inspired in her poem blew me away. This is the link to her poem, “Abstraction of Heart”, by Karima Hoisan:
http://karimahoisan.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/abstraction-of-heart/
(She includes in her blog a link to music chosen to listen to, as you read it. The haunting music she chose enhances the journey. I highly recommend it.)
Here is a painting of one of my dogs, my beautiful Lab, Maya.
One early morning i was pondering …”Truth.”
We can and do make things true in our minds all the time, and do so repeatedly in an almost steady stream, we even make lies true…whether we see it or not.
But there is a Universal Truth…underlying it all.
It is way beyond any little mind and all its dramas, emotions, and “I”stories… stuff that i have identified with, that parades through my mind. False me. I shudder….as more and more i See this. The collection of inner rubbish that keeps fundamental Truth from being experienced.
So on that early morning, i asked the Angels to show me something true.
And almost immediately i looked into my dogs sparkling eyes….and i experienced a glimmer of that Truth. I did! A true heart reaching out in that very alive moment with love and trust. Simple, pure and uncontaminated. No mind. Abiding, unconditional love, incapable of guile or betrayal, or even a bad mood! She touched that part of me.
And so i painted her.
This image for me represents a moment of spiritual expansion….in the arrival of a shock (lightning) and the inner Gift offered therein.
A prayer, a true profound beseeching, ( in this case a dramatic scream ), actually contains the help at the very moment of its inception, ( the rainbow).
The figure in repose has her face (representing ego ) veiled, only her third eye (awakened dimension ) is opened, indicating pure receptivity. That eye connects to the eye of the screaming figure, also a part of her, who has reached a point of no return. In that magical moment something transforms…as lightning burns away something un-true, and another layer of Truth is Seen. Its understanding is unveiled in the mirror of reality experienced as it proceeds from this moment. New, free, without reference to the old, not defined by external events.
If allowed.
This painting was painted many years ago….but the image is one that to me stands on it’s own merit, in representing the state of mind where we finally give up “arms”, and multi-faceted inner resistance….and truly surrender to the most natural of unfold-ments. The ego ( the mask, false identity
), who runs our life from the dark labyrinths of the unconscious, is thus rendered powerless, layer by layer, by the Light of Truth that is now invited and allowed.
It is a blessing to be gifted with the degree of inner devastation/disillusionment that brings one to the point where facing “truth” becomes deeply personal. When the fear of not facing it becomes greater than the fear of facing it.
OK….this is my first attempt to put a new painting into my blog….and to talk a bit about it.
Angelic Tear…………30″ x 37″ acrylic on canvas
This painting started out as a mandala for a sacred idealistic vision, a diamond crystal, tree of life, a dream of perfect union in Oneness. But it finished as another statement altogether. As i was painting, i was struck with the intervention of what felt to me like an Angelic Force, and it inspired an actual physical vertical cut from the top to halfway through the canvas. I was shocked at the living quality this painting had taken on. This Force was speaking to me through my painting! The painting continued to morph into new visions brought about by the tear, and the tear ( interesting that they are spelled the same way ), like a living hologram, into the finished one i have included here. A Gift to me in my quest for Truth…..and it keeps speaking to me even now.
( click images to see enlargements )
